We, all of us have things we want to change. In some cases they are relatively minor. In some, major. The problem is how do you do it? Over the next two weeks we’ll show you can break your habit.
The most important thing you need to ask yourself is do you really want to change? Lots of people think they would like to stop smoking, lose weight, or. But they are just kidding themselves or submitting to the wishes of a husband, wife, friend or mom.
You need to be very clear about what you really want in order to change. Once this is understood, change begins, and the rest of the steps are much easier!
1) Do you “REALLY” want to change?
You must be very honest with yourself because if you are making this decision for someone else you won’t succeed. It’s only after you accept that you have a problem that you can begin to change.
2) Understand that the habit is controlling your life, and you can take back control.
Do you stand outside to smoke? Huddled in a doorway while it rains and the cold wind slices through you, sending ashes and smoke into your eyes? If that’s the case then smoking is controlling you.
Do you think about food all the time? Do you eat it fast and say to yourself ” I’ll be good tomorrow.” Do you open a bag of chips and eat at your desk never thinking about what you are putting in your mouth? Food is controlling you.
Many habits are simply unconscious routines that we do on a daily basis and they can be very helpful, like taking the same route to work everyday, or brushing your teeth. We don’t have to think about every step because we have done them over and over again. In fact, we don’t have to think about each step at all. That’s good for some things; but if your habit is so unconscious that you don’t even think about it or make a choice when you do it, you have given up control.
3) Take back control and make a conscious decision.
Since a habit is an automatic, unconscious activity that you simply follow it is extremely important to change every routine that is associated with it. How? Change. Change everything.
If you are smoker, change the brand you buy, take all the cigarettes out of the pack and put them in something else or put them upside down in the pack. Keep the matches in another place. Change where you smoke, when you smoke. Change everything about how you smoke.
If your habit is about food, change how you eat. For instance, instead of opening a bag of chips and eating from the bag, take some chips out, put them on a plate and then close the bag and put it away.
You see what you are doing? You are making a conscious decision with each step, you are deciding if you are going to take it or not. If you have to go get the chip bag again in order to get more you are making a choice. See! It’s easy when you are in control. Notice, we haven’t ever said anything about guilt. Don’t worry, I’m catholic, we’ll get to that.
4) Honor yourself and be realistic. Take it a step at a time! Don’t get overwhelmed!
It took a lot of time to create the habit and the truth is you are now beginning to re-train your brain to create an new positive habit. They say that if you do something 29 times, it will become a habit. There is no magical way of breaking a habit. Some people can just stop cold turkey and other’s need help from another source, like weight watchers, a doctor, or re-hab.
You can support yourself by validating each change you make. Gee, I haven’t had a cookie in a week! or Boy, usually I’ll have smoked 4 cigarettes by now. By doing things deliberately, you are making a positive change that will grow. Your subconscious mind will get the message and begin to help you too!
5) Go on a vacation or move to Japan!
Writer David Sedaris quit smoking when he moved to Japan. Why? In an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air, David said it was so much easier, because everything was different. All the usual landmarks that he associated with smoking were different. He had a different apartment so the desk where he worked and smoked was different, the place where he kept his lighter was different, the places that sold cigarettes were different. He was able to stop smoking because his entire routine was different.
You don’t have to go to Japan to quit smoking or change whatever habit you are working on, but you can decide on when to quit. It really helps if you think about when you are going to begin the change to stop a habit. Maybe there is a vacation coming up, or a special occasion, such as a holiday that will be your target date.
Start thinking now and get your brain ready for that great day when you will be completely free of your habit. The key here is to expect success. Know it is coming and take pride in the wonderful feeling of achieving your goal.
6) Give yourself a little time before you take action.
We all have cravings. You know, it’s the thought that enters your head and says, “Wouldn’t a nice chewy chocolate chip cookie taste good right now!” or “It’s time to have a cigarette.” Right, that kind of craving.
Here’s what you do before you do what your are thinking. Give yourself some time. Say to yourself, “I’ll have it if I want to in 20 minutes.” See what happened? You didn’t give in to your habit without putting in a little control mechanism. Spend some of that time congratulating yourself on how well you are doing. What control you have and how much better you feel.
7) Stop beating yourself up if you eat, smoke, chew, or do anything that looks like you fell off the wagon.
We don’t need to nag ourselves into guilt. It’s not good for us. Instead, look back on how far you have come from the sniveling-cigarette-smoking-cookie-eating-chewing-your-nails kind of person you were. Notice how much you have changed and just get back up there and continue the change.
I didn’t say “Start all over again, did I?” that’s because you are simply continuing to move closer to your goal.
Pay Attention!
Notice when you have cravings. Notice how you handle the urge and when it seems to arise. The idea is to be present and awake while you are taking significant steps toward your goal. Some people like to keep journals or diaries, others just take in the information. Find out what works for you and do it!
9) Let all of your friends know you have made a decision to change.
They will support you. Just because you have declared that you are about to create a major shift in your life, people will expect you to do it. It will help you stay honest. Really!
10) Do not sneak!
Yeah, I know, it’s easy to say but really, who are you kidding.
11) Treat yourself!
Now that you have changed! Do something for yourself with all the money you are saving! If it’s nail biting…get a manicure…